At the Detriment of my Ego
I’m the chief of not wanting to inconvenience other people with my issues.
Let’s start from my church story. It was tough for me to get used to the transportation arrangement at my current church.
After a few Sundays, my pastor’s wife told me to go and meet a certain person, so I could ride to and from church with them.
I almost fainted when she asked me to do this. I didn’t bulge though. Why should I trouble the innocent people? The question was coupled with the fact that I found it really embarrassing. ‘God abeg o, before they think someone is a pity case’. These were the sort of thoughts going on in my head.
Anyways, my pastor’s wife being who she is said, “what happened? Abi I should go and tell him for you?” I nodded hesitantly, and she went ahead to ask them.
That was the first time I had to accept an “inconveniencing” type of help in my church.
Second, my parents came visiting last year, and my mum spent more time with me. One of the numerous things I learnt from her was to accept help. I was about loading my laundry card with cash but the machine wasn’t accepting my cash.
There was this guy that witnessed the machine’s refusal of my money. He jumped in, and told us that the machine won’t accept folded or rumpled money at all. He also stated that it didn’t matter if it was just slightly rumpled too. *rolls eyes. That machine stressed me.
Soo, that’s how this man offered that he goes to his apartment to bring some cash for my laundry card’s payment. I was already shaking my head vehemently. Then, my mum told him “yeah, that would be helpful” or something along those lines😭.
I was like “mummmmm, I can go get my credit card for this stuff”. She was like “you can always give him the cash in your hand as repayment, it’s not like he’s paying for you”.
She wanted to prove a point that day, and she succeeded. She told me that I should start being open to accepting help. Lol. She definitely punctured whatever ego I had been nursing that day.
I still haven’t changed much, however I can say that I’ve eased a teeny little bit into accepting help from other people at the detriment of my ego. It won’t hurt to allow other people bless me too.
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The ego I’m speaking of in this post is not the superiority kind of pride, it’s more of self-respect and self-worth.
Do you find it difficult to accept help?
Thank you for reading.
Till we meet again🤍.
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