Is Compromise in Relationships Realistic?

Welcome to Limitless! 

I was about to get on the train yesterday when I saw this guy on a phone call smiling sheepishly, about to get on the train too. 

We boarded, and apparently he had been talking with his wife or fiancé (I’m assuming) whom he was meeting on the train because he gave her the deepest kiss on the cheek when he saw her. She is probably not a PDA  person because she squirmed and shook her head after. Lollll.

They talked and laughed all through their ride that they almost missed their stop. They scampered as they saw that the train’s door was about to close at their stop. My eyes followed them as they got off the train. 

Meanwhile, the lady across me turned to look at the couple too. We both knowingly laughed out loud at the drama that just ensued. 

She fawned at how cute the couple were and she recounted everything that happened to me not knowing that I had been watching too😂. 

Something about her struck me though. She had the most beautiful ivory black skin perfectly complimented with the most pearly white teeth I had ever seen. I told her this, and I got to know that she was South-Sudanese. She looked like a model straight out of a magazine; you know the ones with flawless, oiled skin. 

I complimented her beauty, and we got talking. 

Now, here’s where I’m going. 

The conversation stopped, and I brought out a book to read. It immediately caught her eye, and she wanted to know what book I was reading. I told her it was Dating like Airplanes by Caleb Breakey. She instantly said she would look it up and get a copy. 

So, she started speaking on how dating had been like for her. I curiously asked if she had any non-negotiables. She said that she did, and she had compromised in the past, which ended up being nasty. 

This is exactly where I’m going. 

It is very realistic and important to build a compromise on some issues in relationships. However, there should be no compromising whatsoever when it comes to some others. I like to call them my non-negotiables. For example, my first non-negotiable is that I can never marry a person whom isn’t a son of God. 

Here’s where it gets serious. 

I see so many young Christians compromising or not having a strong resolve when it comes to sex before marriage. Blood-bought, Spirit-filled, Tongue-speaking, demon-freeing, dedicated Christian, but you want to have sex when you are ready, not when you are married? How? 

I struggled so much with coming out to write about this, but I would rather obey. 

I feel so strongly that there is a teenager who has been consistently reading my blogposts (I do not know who you are), but you in particular, pay attention to the words you are about to read. 

When it comes to sex before marriage, you must have a strong ‘why’, so that you are never convinced by another person’s ‘why’ or desires. If you don’t have a strong ‘why’, another person’s strong ‘why’ will overpower yours. That’s just it. 

Have a clear understanding of ‘why’ you won’t be having sex before marriage. This is a very important thing to do before you even start thinking about liking someone or going into a relationship. 

Having said that, what should be our strong why as Christians? I wish (or I don’t even wish) I had something else to tell you. The Bible is crystal clear. 

2Tim. 2:22a- Flee also youthful lusts. 

1Cor 6:18-20- Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that commits fornication sins against his own body. What? Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For you are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit which are God’s. 

I sincerely believe that at the point that you know that your body, soul and spirit aren’t just yours, they belong to God, it gets life-changing. 

How can my body be my Lord’s, and yet I would defile that body and my Lord? 

I was reading Matthew 7:21 this morning. “Not everyone that says unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that does the will of my Father which is in heaven”. 

The Holy Spirit highlighted that point to me, just to reiterate the importance of what He was sending me to do of course. 

Maybe you’ve been indulging in sex or you’ve been involved in other sexual acts before, it doesn’t mean that you should continue. 

Understand this. The fact that you know what the Word of God says about this matter which is very clear, and you choose to continue is very questionable.

If you do not stop and repent, you will give an account and you will be judged for this willful sin.

I’m not judging you, that is what the Word of God says. 

There should be no compromising whatsoever when it comes to sex before marriage. 

Child of God, have a strong resolve. 

Stop it if you have been doing it, have a firm resolve if you are still sitting on the fence. 

Think on these words. 

~

Thank you for reading. Till we meet again🤍.