A Review of “Alone but not Lonely” by Lola Adeosun

Happy new year guys!🥂🎆 and Welcome to Limitless! 

I was walking around my church one day and I discovered my church had a library. A library? My heart erupted with excitement of course. Ah. I’ve found a new assignment. The next Sunday, I went to the bookshelves and I discovered they were locked. So, I told my Pastor’s wife to come open it for me. Even though she told me “wahala e po”😂 (your trouble is too much), she eventually opened it. 

Suffice to say, my eyes landed on this book and I knew it had my name imprinted on it. I surfed to the table of content, and everything resonated with me. Loneliness and being alone were things I had to deal with last year, so I immediately felt so seen. 

I later received the shock of my life though. I found out that the book’s primary audience was pastors’ wives, then, ladies in leadership. Pastors’ wives? What is my business with Pastors’ wives?- I asked the Holy Spirit. He definitely hid the back cover’s blurb from me, because if I had read it, it would have taken Him to get me to take the book home. (Insert that “there is no wayyyyy” song😂)

Howeverrr, the moment I started reading this book, I fell in love. I knew I was in for a ride. The writer shared her experience as a pastor’s wife and she also shared real life experiences of women who have experienced loneliness. 

One thing I came to understand was that you could be in a relationship or marriage and still be lonely. A partner won’t simply fix your loneliness. I learnt that: 

“Loneliness may be God’s way of getting your attention

Your loneliness is a process

Your loneliness may be a set-up for your come back

Loneliness is God’s way of pruning you to grow more” (Adeosun 2018). 

Sometimes, God secludes you and keeps you to Himself because He wants your full attention. The book further affirmed God’s word to me that I should be content with “my” season. I mean, I remember a day I said “God when” after seeing a couple’s cute picture and the Holy Spirit told me to shut up. Lol. That’s by the way. 

The author also touched extensively on finding your Elizabeth because every woman needs one. It just confirmed that I had to keep being prayerful about my Elizabeth. 

Most importantly, the author of this book is such a phenomenal writer. I found myself responding audibly to many moments. Only a well-written book can evoke such emotion. 

For instance, check this out: 

“She confided in me how she sought the face of the Lord carefully, and the Holy Spirit laid a message in her mind to preach on Mother’s Day at their church. “I thought I did well” she said, but nobody commented except for one woman who walked up to me after the sermon, shook her head and said, “Your sermon almost made me wonder about God’s criteria for match-making.” The woman’s remark meant that this pastor’s wife performed awfully and nowhere near as impressive as her husband” (p. 57). 

The first thing I said out loud after reading that statement was “people are mean oo”. Why would you say something like that to your fellow human being? To be very honest, many people lack emotional intelligence and some are just uncouth. Tsk tsk. I had a lot to say. This is just an excerpt of my many “ah!” moments. 

I would read this book over and over again if it wasn’t borrowed. To say it blessed me is an understatement; it blessed me greatly. The structure, the intricate words, the breath of God on it. Kai! God has daughters, and one of them blessed me! 

On this note, if you are going through an alone or lonely phase, seek God’s face. It’s okay to crave relationships, but are you spending so much time yearning for it that you don’t even see what God is trying to teach you in this season? He might just want your full attention. 

Meanwhile, “season’s greetings” period is over and valentine is coming. I’m starting to see red stuff everywhere. You might probably be feeling some kind of subtle pressure. Listen, let no one pressure you. Embrace your singleness with your full chest. Yes!

I just hope you are preparing for a relationship if you really want to be in one though. 

Okay. I just said let me come and tell my Limitless people about this amazing book I read. Feel free to shoot me a message if you have any questions. 

Thanks so much for reading. Till we meet again.❤️