The appropriate time to bring up your ex(es)

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Welcome to Limitless! 

Hmmmm. THE PAST!  

Do you know that not everyone has had bad relationship experiences in the past? Quarrels, misunderstanding or red issues didn’t bring their relationships to an end. 

Is this general knowledge? 

Some have had good relationships that ended due to the fact that they could not be with the person because of a circumstance beyond them. 

For this reason, it sometimes gets difficult to let go, and I truly understand. You had this ‘almost’ perfect relationship, she was everything you ever wanted in a woman. Then, all of a sudden, an issue came up, and you had to separate. If you’ve been through this, you probably understand more right?

You haven’t gotten over her completely, but you say to yourself, “well, life goes on, let me give relationship another try”.

Then, you start talking to another girl. You guys click and you like her vibe. So, you guys decide to meet for the first time. 

While on the date, she makes a mistake and without thinking, you immediately state how your ex would have done it better. She gets annoyed, you tell her she’s overreacting, and you didn’t mean it that way. She picks her purse and leaves. 

First off, that FIRST DATE is not meant for any long discussion about your past. I mean, I’m not saying it would be the same for everyone. But, why not take time to heal from your past before you get into another relationship. 

If you know you are just looking for something to pass time and you know the other person is serious, then, you would be a bad person to be leading them on. 

Also, that FIRST DATE is not for you to start prodding the person about their past. For instance, “So, how many exes did you have? How was he/she like?” 

You would be setting yourself up for awkwardness because why do you want to know that much. 

It’s okay to ask them if they are still healing from a past relationship or if they are looking for something serious at this time. If you know you feel like it, then, cut to the chase. 

My point is that you shouldn’t prod for too much information while at the initial stage of getting to know each . 

A more appropriate time to ask for TMI is when you guys are more comfortable with each other. 

Another thing is you shouldn’t push if they have had bad experiences. Ask if they are okay to talk about it. Don’t push. 

You should also know that a person who talks about their ex all the time is a red flag. Whether they are good qualities or not. It means they still need to heal. 

Therefore, the key points from this piece are: 

-Heal from your past before getting into a relationship 

-Don’t push someone to reveal so much information about their past relationships if they are not ready to talk

-Don’t lead a person who is looking for a serious relationship on if you are not looking for the same thing

-A person who talks about their ex(es) all the time is a red flag

-You can ask past relationship questions when you get comfortable with each other. 

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Thanks for reading! Take care!❤️