How to handle rejection

Welcome to Limitless! 

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We have to understand that people are free to either accept or reject our advances. I mean, it’s their choice and they should be free to choose whomever they want because they know what’s best for them. Let’s respect that.

And YES, people are free to stop talking to us when we reject them. THAT’S MY OPINION. It would only look funny to you if you’ve never been rejected or you don’t know what it feels like to be rejected. I used to think it was ridiculous too, but if that’s their coping mechanism, then, who am I to alter that process? 

NOTE that I said we have the freedom to stop talking to people when they reject us. Not hating, not spreading rumors, not insulting or manipulating.

This thing goes both ways. Let’s name the rejecter, Bola and name the rejected, Jide. 

Jide has to respect Bola’s choice to refuse his advances. She is free to choose whomever she thinks should be in her life. At the same time, Bola has to respect Jide’s decision to heal from the rejection. Either it is by blocking her for the meantime or not speaking to her.

There are two major ways of handling rejection that I suggest.  Accept and move on. 

1. ACCEPT

        When someone is clearly not interested in you, you just have to come to terms with that fact. You just got rejected, give yourself breathing space. It is not the time to start stalking them or bombarding their phones with calls and messages. I know you guys were friends, everything was going well till you popped the question or said your mind. You want things to go back to the way it was, wait, give it time. Don’t rush. 

Your emotions are also valid, so embrace them. You are allowed to cry, you are allowed to feel sad. Man or woman, anyone that thinks you are a baby for crying because of rejection doesn’t know anything. The fact that the person talking just accepted their own rejection and moved on without feeling a rollercoaster of emotions does not mean your own emotions are invalid. You are two different people. 

Don’t blame yourself. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you aren’t enough. They rejected you, yes, but it doesn’t mean you are less. If you think you need to work on yourself, make more money or any personal conviction that you have, then, do just that. 

Don’t force anyone to be with you. You sef you are a spec abeg. To be honest, if I were rejected today, I would just take it as it wasn’t meant to be. That’s me, but people are different. The moment you start forcing someone to be in a relationship with you, it gets irritating. How will you even feel comfortable if they finally agree? 

Bottom line is, accept that you were rejected and embrace your emotions. 

2. MOVE ON

        We heal from rejection too. It’s not a ‘minor’ thing that does not require healing. If they need to heal, then let them. Rejection is actually an emotional process for people who are fragile like me (LOL). 

Like I said earlier, people have different coping mechanisms or ways of healing, so to say. Look, we have to be real with ourselves. Not that girls don’t get rejected, but, if I were a boy that got rejected by you and I stopped talking to you for the meantime to heal, you can’t guilt trip me into thinking I’m a bad person or something. I can’t pretend to be fine with it and be suffering inside. I should be allowed to heal whichever way I want. 

Heal and move on. Don’t be stuck in one place over someone who doesn’t even care or give a dime about you. Don’t remain in a dark place. 

In case you are confused and asking, how I exactly can I move on? You can, by: 

i. Picking an interest, a hobby or concentrating more on work, moving on from the fact that Bola or Jide rejected you.

ii. It could also be the time to start talking to them again, slowly, if you want, when you are fine.  

iii. You can also use the time to garner more knowledge about relationships, read books, watch videos, hear people’s stories, that is if you want to be intentional about your relationship. 

Just to reinforce, bombarding people with calls and messages, stalking, spreading rumors or fake stories are very toxic ways of handling rejection. It’s not even healing, it’s being unintelligent. I’ve heard different stories of people who were victims of these, all because of rejection. Personally, I’ve experienced them firsthand too.

You claim you want them to feel the level of pain you felt when you got rejected by spreading false stories. But, if you respected their freedom to make their own decisions in the first place, you won’t be carrying this level of hate in your mind. And, why are you bombarding them with calls and messages? They said they are not doing Jide. Take your leave.

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Thanks for reading Limitless fam! What do you think are other ways to handle rejection? What is something you’ve been wanting to say about rejection or handling it? Feel free to drop it in the comment section. DON’T AIR ME!😁 

Till we meet next Saturday, bye!